Embarrassing sex questions people are afraid to ask

1. Could I have accidentally peed the bed
during sex?
If the condom is intact and you’ve ruled
out the possibility that the wet spot came
from him, take a discreet sniff. Does the
wet spot smell like urine? If so, there’s
your answer. There’s often a tiny bit of fluid
left in the bladder even after women use
the bathroom, says Lauren Streicher, MD ,
assistant professor of obstetrics and
gynecology at Northwestern University’s
Feinberg School of Medicine. Certain sexual
positions — such as the missionary — can
put enough pressure on that area to cause
it to leak. If this happens only once in a
while, then there’s no need to worry. If the
fluid has no odor or a musky scent and
you’re about to have your period, then,
Streicher says, you may have ejaculated.
(Hey, it happened on “Sex and the City,” so
it could happen to you, too!) “But if you’re
regularly leaking urine, it could be a sign of
incontinence,” she says. She advises
strengthening your pelvic-floor muscles
through Kegels (seriously, they work!) and
consider bringing this up with your
gynecologist or a women’s health physical
therapist.
2. Why do I sometimes laugh or cry
uncontrollably during sex?
“Sex is a neurological and emotional
event,” says Debby Herbenick , a research
scientist at the Center for Sexual Health
Promotion at Indiana University and the
author of Sex Made Easy . In other words,
it’s intense, and getting naked (physically
and otherwise) with someone can trigger
unexpected feelings. An emotional reaction
could also be due to hormones, where
you’re at in your menstrual cycle or fears
you have about the relationship. You know
yourself best: If you feel something’s not
right, consider bringing it up with your
partner or with a therapist.
3. I’m nowhere near menopause, but I’m
as dry as the Sahara down there — even
when I’m in the mood. How can this be?
There are lots of factors involved in keeping
the vagina naturally lubricated, but
anything that sabotages your hormone
levels or your blood flow throughout the
body can dry you out, says Streicher, who
is working on a book about sexual health.
She also says that about 5 percent of
women taking oral contraception
experience vaginal dryness — yet even
some gynecologists neglect to make that
connection. Other culprits that have
nothing to do with age include
antihistamines, breastfeeding,
chemotherapy, in vitro fertilization and
diabetes. (An easy solution: Streicher
recommends applying a good silicone-
based lubricant, like Wet Platinum, before
sex.)
4. Should I be worried if I bleed after
sex?
If the blood is a light color, and this
happens only once (especially after a
strenuous romp), then it’s probably just
the result of irritation or friction, Streicher
says. But if it happens again or if there’s a
fair amount of blood, then you should
make an appointment with your
gynecologist. It could be coming from the
cervix, the uterus or be caused by an
infection like chlamydia or gonorrhea.
5. About that, um, aquatic odor…
A science lesson, courtesy of Dr. Streicher:
The normal pH in the vagina is between 3.5
and 4.5, and that creates the best
conditions for good bacteria to proliferate.
If the pH goes up too high, those good
bacteria can’t survive, which allows the
not-good bacteria to take over, leading to
that unfortunate fishy odor as well as
infections like bacterial vaginosis. Normal
semen happens to have a high pH, around
7.4. “So if your pH levels are already
teetering on the brink or if you’re having a
lot of sex, the introduction of high pH
semen can put you over the edge,”
Streicher says. Your period can also
increase your pH level. Streicher sometimes
prescribes an OTC gel called RepHresh to
help keep levels balanced and also
recommends vaginal probiotics (different
than the probiotic capsules intended for
your intestine). And if the post-coital
bouquet you’re referring to smells like
bleach or chlorine, Streicher says, “Well,
that’s just semen.”