Sunday 3 November 2013

Marrying another wife may kill me — Hafiz Oyetoro a.k.a Saka

In a recent interview with PUNCH, media
personality and lecturer, Hafiz Oyetoro talked
about his marriage and how the journey has
been so far.
In the interview, the popular actor and his
wife, Olaide, relived the experience of their
10-year-old marriage.

How did you meet?
Hafiz: She was a final year student of the
Adeniran Ogunsanya College of Education while
I was a lecturer in the school. The first time I
saw her, she had come to the school to submit
her final year project. I was with a friend of
mine who knew her. I just told my friend that
I would love to meet the lady and he
facilitated a meeting between us.
Olaide: I believe it is God that brought us
together. When he approached me at first, I
declined his request but afterwards, I
discovered that he is a good man, very
religious and well behaved
How long did it take before you got
married?
Hafiz: It took me almost a year. I was ready
but she was not. She gave me a tough time for
almost six months before she finally accepted.
As a matter of fact, my friend had to persuade
her to accept my proposal.
Olaide: I would not say I gave him a tough
time. What I did was that I took time to study
him. We are well brought up in our house and
we don’t jump into marriage anyhow.
How did he propose?
Olaide: He said, “I want to marry you.’’ There
were no flowers or candles.  When he
proposed, I told him I was not ready for
marriage and he asked me what I wanted to
do. I told him I wanted to pursue a degree
programme; he accepted and even bought me
the entry form.
Hafiz: She had said no at first but when my
friend intervened, she took me to her
guardian.
Before him did you have other suitors?
Olaide: Yes, but I am a devout Muslim. I did
not accept proposals from those other suitors
because I wanted to marry Hafiz.
You said earlier that a woman refused to
marry you because you did not have a car?
Hafiz: Yes. It was after my master’s degree
programme and there was no money. I was just
an average artiste, struggling to survive, but
the lady did not see the future. I remember
telling her that I was ready for marriage. Her
reply was that I was not ready because I did
not have a car. I told her that with my job, I
should be able to get a very comfortable car
within a year. She insisted that one car would
not be sufficient since she was going to be
pregnant one day. That was when I knew that
in order to get married to her; I had to have
two cars first.
Why did you marry him when he did not
have a car?
Olaide: I did not marry him because of
material things. I married him because of the
love I have for him.
Hafiz: I have never had any regrets about
marrying Laide. It has been from one level of
progress to the other. I thank God for giving
me the grace to meet her. I married her into
a room and parlour apartment before we
moved into the college staff quarters.  Very
soon, by the grace of God, we will move into
our personal home. It has been very
rewarding.
What is the most interesting thing about
your husband?
Olaide: Everything about him is interesting. I
believe women should pray very well before
getting into marriage. It is God that chooses
for people and He is the one who chose Hafiz
for me.
What is the most annoying thing you have
ever done to each other?
Olaide: Sometimes, he gets
angry and storms out of the
house. At such times, I will
stay in the room and pray for God to take
control.
Hafiz: She is a little stubborn. Sometimes, I
would express my dislike for certain things but
as a woman, she would want to prove a
point. At such times, I would walk out of the
house because I love her. I would have to go
out so that my anger can burn itself out. I
would not want to say something hurting that I
would have to regret later on. She has been
there and taking care of my house. I cannot
stay back home and say painful things because
of a little misunderstanding.
What is the most romantic gesture you
have shown towards each other?
Olaide: Everything he does is romantic. He
sings for me sometimes.
Hafiz: I just compose songs. I am not a good
singer actually. When I know that I have
offended her, I would sing her a song with my
crooked voice. It has been fun actually,
whether in anger or merriment. If we don’t
have misunderstandings, the marriage would
not be realistic. Most of the misunderstandings
we have in the house are everyday friendly
disagreements.
Are you a Saka fan?
Olaide: Yes. I am. When he started acting, I
loved watching him on the screen.
Hafiz: She appreciates the work of art. She is
a graduate of mathematics and I am amazed at
the chemistry between us. I have to commend
her because she sacrificed a lot for the family.
As a graduate of mathematics, instead of going
to teach in secondary school, she had to resign
and settle down to take care of the home
because I am not always around. Our plan is
that when the children have grown, she can go
back to teaching.  Maybe we will build our own
school.
Your husband ‘ported’ from poverty to a
comfortable living, how is that affecting
you?
Olaide: I don’t think he was ever poor because
poverty is a mindset. He was not as rich as
this but one has to reach a phase in life. The
extra money has brought positive changes to
my business. I thank God for giving him to
me.
Now that you are rich, as a Muslim, would
you want to marry a second wife?
Hafiz: No. It is too late for me to marry
another wife. At 50, what else would I be
looking for? I have three children, I have my
job and my wife is still young. If I marry
another one now, that means I want to die, I
cannot cope with the stress.
How are you coping with attention from
female fans?
Hafiz: I am not a particularly attractive
person outside the screen. Most of my fans
love Saka, not Hafiz. When they meet Hafiz,
they are disappointed; Hafiz and Saka are two
different personalities.
What price do you have to pay for fame?
Hafiz: Fame affects my freedom. I am
naturally simple; I would love to live my life
without being too conscious of what people
would say. But these days, my personal
assistants and managers and sometimes, my
lawyer would follow me to certain places and
try to hide me from people. Also, some
people harass me to get money. If I go out, I
don’t spend anything less than N5000 just
tipping people. Sometimes, I give people
N1000 and they will complain that it is too
small. They would abuse me and consider me
to be snobbish or stingy. I have to be realistic
and not give people money every day,
otherwise, I will be broke. What I am trying to
do now is to give people who are really in
need. That is more productive than showing
off by giving money to people who run after
me.
What pet names do you have for each
other?
Olaide: I call him Oye, which is the short form
of his name.
Hafiz: I call her Olomi.

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