Why do some women crave for marriage while some run at the slight mention of the word

In a society like ours, marriage is a norm. A
norm followed so religiously that if you
don’t fit in there, then you’re labeled an
outcast. Why do some women feel the need
to stay independent? A short take on
how different women are…
Some women don’t want to be tamed. They
want to go out into the wild, explore and
create opportunities for themselves. Some
women don’t want to be domesticated, for
the one basic reason that they don’t
believe this is the end for them. Some
women are ambitious and inspirational,
strong and steady and eons away from the
reality that they are apparently supposed to
be in. Some women, don’t want to get
married.
Why and how do we decide our lives like
this? Are we influenced or is that a
conscious decision that we decide to make?
Bride to be, Mallika Jain is elated about her
marriage. She doesn’t seem to be nervous
nor is she getting cold feet about getting
hitched. “I was apprehensive in the
beginning when we decided to get married
but I am looking forward to a whole new
life,” says a very happy Mallika. She explains
how a lot of her friends
are completely anti-marriage and would
rather be independent. “I tried telling them
that marriage doesn’t make you lose
your independence, but they’re so
programmed to say no to marriage instantly
that they are not willing to listen to me”,
says Mallika. Undue pressure and
emotional blackmailleads most women
to marry out of their will. Especially, if they
are weak hearted. The entire guilt that their
family is depending on them for some kind
of happiness haunts them making it difficult
for them to stay rooted to their beliefs and
decisions.
A tumultuous relationship between parents
is a reason as to why children grow up
feeling the need to not marry. They are
affected by this and often question
themselves as to ‘if my parents went
through this, I don’t want to get married’
kind of situation. Psychologist Niral Shah,
mentions that watching relationships break
down around leaves you skeptical. “It’s very
natural that women might feel like that.
Some women are not wired to get married,
take responsibilities or have children. It’s
almost the same as men not wanting to do
the same. The difference here however is
you’re a woman! And it’s an understood
norm in any society that women are
required to do all these! It is unfair, but
unfortunately this is the truth”, says Niral.
Anjanaa Damodharan, all of 23 is a junior
copy writer at an ad agency. She is married
to her work and career and having fun
exploring her creative side. “My personal
opinion is that it’s a total waste of time,
energy and money and the whole concept
of monogamy and staying faithful is very
hard for a lot of people, especially our
generation. It’s very difficult to stay tied
down now particularly, though there are
women who like starting a family, there are
more who are career-oriented and very
ambitious.”. Anjanaa goes onto say that if
marriage requires a woman to say goodbye
to a career then its best to say no to
marriage.
In recent times, however women have
learnt to stand up for what they believe in
and to follow what they deem is best for
them. The concept of marriage is something
you might either believe in or not. Some
get it, some don’t. And others
dangle helplessly in between trying to make
head and tail of this ritual called ‘marriage’.