Comedian, Ajibola Adebayo, alias Holy
Mallam, and his wife, Ijeoma, share the
story of their eight-year-old union
How did you meet?
Ijeoma: I had seen him perform before
and I was impressed with his style of
presentation. The day we met, he hosted
a show organised by my friend. When it
was time for him to leave, he could not
because someone was blocking his car.
During the brief period he waited to move
his car, we got talking and he gave me his
call card. When I got home that night, I
decided to call him since he did not have
my number. I felt it would be nice to have
a comedian as a friend. This was in May
2004. We have been married for eight
years.
Holy Mallam: I was in a hurry to leave
the venue of the show in order to go and
see a lady I was interested in at the
time. When Ijeoma called me that night,
I was in the lady’s house. After her call
and subsequent calls from me, we
became friends and I eventually left the
lady for her.
How did he propose?
Ijeoma: It was not spectacular, no
ceremony. One day we were in the car
and he said, ‘if we should get married
right now your children would be Yoruba.
After a week, he just came and thrust a
ring into my hand and I just collected it.
Unfortunately it was too big for my
fingers and he had to return it to the
shop.
Why did you leave that other lady?
Holy Mallam: I was still talking to her,
trying to get her to agree for us to date
but she was giving me too many
conditions. The process was taking too
long.
When you met were you involved with
another man?
Ijeoma: No. I was not
Were you a virgin at the time he met you?
Holy Mallam: She was.
Are you joking?
Holy Mallam: No. I am serious. I had
already told God that I wanted to marry a
virgin.
Is he your first lover?
Ijeoma: Yes.
Why? You had gone through secondary
school, the university and then went for
national youth service..
Ijeoma: I just think it is God. I gave my
life to Christ when I was in Junior
Secondary School. Another thing was
that I am a very shy person. I dreaded the
thought of going to bed with a man,
telling myself that I may not be able to
face him in the morning. I had male
friends but our relationships did not last
more than one month because along the
line, the man would want intimacy as a
proof of love. Then, our fellowship
coordinator always cautioned us to keep
ourselves pure. He would tell us that if
we disobeyed God, we would get
pregnant. Somebody else also told me
that if a man married me as a virgin, he
would appreciate me so much and give
me whatever I wanted.
Was it after the wedding that you had sex
with him for the first time?
Ijeoma: Yes. It was three days after the
wedding because I was too scared. But
on a Monday, my husband said, ‘we can’t
continue like this. I have paid and have
done everything.’
Holy Mallam: It was a very big wedding.
Over 1000 guests attended and I was too
tired on the night of the wedding to do
anything. That was a good excuse for her.
Did you have to read about how to
deflower a lady?
Holy mallam: No.
Ijeoma: I read it up on the internet and
was able to guide him.
You are part Hausa and Yoruba, why did
you marry an Igbo lady?
Holy Mallam: My mother is from Niger
State but she was born and brought up in
Lagos and she speaks Yoruba fluently. I
love Nigeria and I have always loved Ibo
soup. But that was not why I married her.
I think our union was destined.
You have three children; did you plan for
the number?
Ijeoma: Before we got married, we had
decided to have three children but when
the second child came and we realised it
was a boy, we changed our minds and
decided to stop having children.
Holy Mallam: We had an agreement with
God that we were going to have three
children. Our first was a girl and then, we
had a boy. When the boy came, we
decided to play smart and stop. Then, my
wife was working on her weight. In fact, I
spent a lot of money on that and I always
took her to Victoria Garden City, where
the gym is and I spent over two hundred
thousand naira and the results were
amazing.
Ijeoma: I got the ideal weight I desired
but suddenly found out that I was
pregnant again! I cried but we thank God
the boy came. He just completes the
family.
How do you hang out as a couple away
from the kids?
Ijeoma: Before the kids came, we were
inseparable. Now, we try to carve out
time to be together because my love
language is spending quality time
together.
Holy Mallam: We were always together,
even when she was pregnant with the
first child.
As a marriage counsellor, what impact
does that have on your marriage?
Ijeoma: It has helped a lot because I was
naive of so many things. Being the first
child of the family, my position has
always been that of a leader and it
affected the way I related with my
husband. I was manifesting some
controlling tendencies unintentionally but
God called me to order.
Holy Mallam: We have a monthly
programme for couples. I am usually part
of her audience and whenever she speaks
during those seminars, the familiarity that
exists between us as a couple disappears.
I pay attention to her as if she was
somebody else. I learn a lot during those
gatherings and what I learn, I try to
practise at home.
What will happen if you discover your
husband has cheated on you?
Ijeoma: I don’t know if he would ever
cheat because I am free with his phone.
One day, when I asked him to tell me
what would prevent him from cheating on
me, he just said, ‘the fact that I fear God.’
That settled the matter for me. I always
tell God to keep him for me and I would
be foolish to assume that it can never
happen. The devil is out for Christians.
He does not go to club houses and he
does not drink. He may not meet some of
those girls but what about the ones
inside the church?
Holy Mallam: There is no superman
anywhere. Anything that we want to
achieve can only be made possible by the
grace of God. I meet a lot of ladies, some
even ask me to sign autographs on their
breasts. As a Christian, I don’t respond to
such gestures. I always carry my wife on
my mind. I know that I will always go
home to her at the end of the day.
What pet name do you have for each
other?
Ijeoma: Honey.
Holy Mallam: The children call me
‘honey’ and call her mummy.
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