1. Like yourself naked.
Women who have the best sex
lives feel good about their
bodies, says Joy Davidson,
PhD, a sex therapist in New
York City and the author
of Fearless Sex. “They see
themselves as strong and
sexy.” Unfortunately,
according to Berman, up to 80
percent of women in the
United States suffer from a
negative body image.
“Typically, when a woman
looks at herself, her eyes go
straight to her problem areas,”
says Berman. “She carries that
feeling into the bedroom, and
when her partner’s kissing
her thighs, she’s busy
thinking, ‘God, I’m so fat!’” To
boost your body confidence,
give yourself a reality check.
The next time you’re at the
store or in the gym, take a look
around you at all the attractive
women who are a variety of
shapes and sizes. Remind
yourself: There is no one ideal.
Then ask your partner what he
loves about your body, and
write it down. Read the list
every morning. Finally,
compliment yourself. At least
once a week, stand in front of
the mirror naked and focus on
your favorite features —
your toned arms, your
firm butt, your
gorgeousbreasts . Touch each
part and say aloud what you
like about it — this will help to
reinforce your feelings, says
Berman.
2. Make the mind-body
connection.
Think about those moments in
your life when you feel
completely in tune with your
body. Maybe it’s after you
finish a long run — your
blood is pumping and you’re
relaxed and exhilarated. Or
perhaps it’s when you
do yoga and achieve a mind-
body meld. Chances are, this
doesn’t happen often enough.
“When a woman has a
negative self-image, she tends
to disconnect from how her
body feels,” says Berman. To
reestablish the bond, do
something that makes you feel
good in your skin at least once
a day — treat yourself to a
massage, go apple picking
with your kids, wear the jeans
that give you an ego boost the
minute you slide them on.
“Whenever you’re tuned in to
your body and what it’s
capable of, you’re naturally
more sensual,” says Davidson.
3. Swear off sex.
It’s extreme, yes, but highly
effective. That’s because when
you tell yourself you can’t
have something, you want it
even more. The same is true in
the bedroom — especially if
you and your partner have
been together for a while and
sex has become automatic.
Instead of focusing on the end
game, learn to enjoy the
sensuality of sex. Tease
yourself — and him. Get
undressed, dim the lights and
take turns exploring each
other’s bodies. “When you’re
the one doing the touching,
concentrate on communicating
love and sensuality to your
partner,” says Berman. “When
you’re on the receiving end,
let yourself feel the sensations
of each and every stroke. This
will help you reconnect with
each other on a whole new
level.” Not only that but by the
time you’re done, you’ll be so
excited you’ll barely be able to
stand it. Hold off (if you can!)
for a night or two, to let the
anticipation build.
4. Add a few thrills.
After a few years together, it’s
easy to get lazy in bed. But
you both deserve better. “If
you don’t put energy into your
relationship, you won’t get
energy out of it,” says
Davidson.
Research shows that new and
adventurous activities may
stimulate the brain to produce
dopamine, a neurotransmitter
that plays a key role in sexual
desire. Do something daring
outside the bedroom and
dopamine levels may skyrocket
— along with your sex drive.
Challenge your guy to a heart-
pounding activity like rock
climbing or white-water
rafting. “Experiencing
something new and
exhilarating together helps
replicate that feeling you had
in the beginning of your
relationship when you
couldn’t get enough of each
other,” says Berman.
5. Tell him how to turn you on.
“Men want to be your knight
in shining armor when it
comes to sex — they’re eager
for you to tell them what feels
good,” says Berman. “The
problem is, so many women
are out of touch with their
bodies they have no idea what
to say.” Help him, and
yourself, by showing him what
turns you on. Put your hand
on top of his and guide him in
how you want to be touched
— including how much
pressure to use. When you’re
ready to move on to oral sex,
or to bring in a few sex toys,
speak up. “This is the only way
he’s going to know what works
for you,” says Berman.
6. Change your routine.
When you’re stressed out, it’s
impossible to feel sexy. That’s
because when a woman
experiences chronic tension,
her body produces higher
levels of oxytocin, a chemical
that cancels out the effects of
the sex hormone testosterone.
As a result, your libido takes a
nosedive. Recharge your
sexual batteries by doing
things that let you break free
from your hectic everyday life,
says Berman. Play a CD that
reminds you of your college
days and sing along. Splurge
on something you’d normally
never buy — like platform
pumps — and wear them for a
girls’ night out. When you’re
relaxed and feeling good
about yourself, sex will start
to seem within the realm of
possibility again.
Women who have the best sex
lives feel good about their
bodies, says Joy Davidson,
PhD, a sex therapist in New
York City and the author
of Fearless Sex. “They see
themselves as strong and
sexy.” Unfortunately,
according to Berman, up to 80
percent of women in the
United States suffer from a
negative body image.
“Typically, when a woman
looks at herself, her eyes go
straight to her problem areas,”
says Berman. “She carries that
feeling into the bedroom, and
when her partner’s kissing
her thighs, she’s busy
thinking, ‘God, I’m so fat!’” To
boost your body confidence,
give yourself a reality check.
The next time you’re at the
store or in the gym, take a look
around you at all the attractive
women who are a variety of
shapes and sizes. Remind
yourself: There is no one ideal.
Then ask your partner what he
loves about your body, and
write it down. Read the list
every morning. Finally,
compliment yourself. At least
once a week, stand in front of
the mirror naked and focus on
your favorite features —
your toned arms, your
firm butt, your
gorgeousbreasts . Touch each
part and say aloud what you
like about it — this will help to
reinforce your feelings, says
Berman.
2. Make the mind-body
connection.
Think about those moments in
your life when you feel
completely in tune with your
body. Maybe it’s after you
finish a long run — your
blood is pumping and you’re
relaxed and exhilarated. Or
perhaps it’s when you
do yoga and achieve a mind-
body meld. Chances are, this
doesn’t happen often enough.
“When a woman has a
negative self-image, she tends
to disconnect from how her
body feels,” says Berman. To
reestablish the bond, do
something that makes you feel
good in your skin at least once
a day — treat yourself to a
massage, go apple picking
with your kids, wear the jeans
that give you an ego boost the
minute you slide them on.
“Whenever you’re tuned in to
your body and what it’s
capable of, you’re naturally
more sensual,” says Davidson.
3. Swear off sex.
It’s extreme, yes, but highly
effective. That’s because when
you tell yourself you can’t
have something, you want it
even more. The same is true in
the bedroom — especially if
you and your partner have
been together for a while and
sex has become automatic.
Instead of focusing on the end
game, learn to enjoy the
sensuality of sex. Tease
yourself — and him. Get
undressed, dim the lights and
take turns exploring each
other’s bodies. “When you’re
the one doing the touching,
concentrate on communicating
love and sensuality to your
partner,” says Berman. “When
you’re on the receiving end,
let yourself feel the sensations
of each and every stroke. This
will help you reconnect with
each other on a whole new
level.” Not only that but by the
time you’re done, you’ll be so
excited you’ll barely be able to
stand it. Hold off (if you can!)
for a night or two, to let the
anticipation build.
4. Add a few thrills.
After a few years together, it’s
easy to get lazy in bed. But
you both deserve better. “If
you don’t put energy into your
relationship, you won’t get
energy out of it,” says
Davidson.
Research shows that new and
adventurous activities may
stimulate the brain to produce
dopamine, a neurotransmitter
that plays a key role in sexual
desire. Do something daring
outside the bedroom and
dopamine levels may skyrocket
— along with your sex drive.
Challenge your guy to a heart-
pounding activity like rock
climbing or white-water
rafting. “Experiencing
something new and
exhilarating together helps
replicate that feeling you had
in the beginning of your
relationship when you
couldn’t get enough of each
other,” says Berman.
5. Tell him how to turn you on.
“Men want to be your knight
in shining armor when it
comes to sex — they’re eager
for you to tell them what feels
good,” says Berman. “The
problem is, so many women
are out of touch with their
bodies they have no idea what
to say.” Help him, and
yourself, by showing him what
turns you on. Put your hand
on top of his and guide him in
how you want to be touched
— including how much
pressure to use. When you’re
ready to move on to oral sex,
or to bring in a few sex toys,
speak up. “This is the only way
he’s going to know what works
for you,” says Berman.
6. Change your routine.
When you’re stressed out, it’s
impossible to feel sexy. That’s
because when a woman
experiences chronic tension,
her body produces higher
levels of oxytocin, a chemical
that cancels out the effects of
the sex hormone testosterone.
As a result, your libido takes a
nosedive. Recharge your
sexual batteries by doing
things that let you break free
from your hectic everyday life,
says Berman. Play a CD that
reminds you of your college
days and sing along. Splurge
on something you’d normally
never buy — like platform
pumps — and wear them for a
girls’ night out. When you’re
relaxed and feeling good
about yourself, sex will start
to seem within the realm of
possibility again.
posted from Bloggeroid
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